Busy Busy Busy!

Sorry if I haven't been replying emails, sms etc. I've been super busy with all the things going on. Either I get home after 9 pm or I have something on that keeps me busy till 10 pm. I just had a buyer over to view this YT flat. Anyway, it's a no deal. We asked for 30k above value (this is a mark up price so buyers can negotiate). Buyer offered us 10k. I dropped it down to 20k. They said that their last offer is 15k. We said 18k or no deal. So no deal it is. We're looking at 18 to 20k. It'll be a bonus if we can secure for 25k but unlikely. (25k is the amount of cash above value we're paying for the BP 3 rm flat.)

It's been a very weird journey. There's so many ups & downs, so many hopes & despair. I've learnt a lot on this house hunting/selling journey. It's been fun & even stressful at times. Along the way, we have to make so many decisions. Decisions as a seller like whether to let go at 15k or shall we wait & see if anyone else gives a better offer. Decisions as a buyer like how low can we offer without losing the deal. There're constant worries about whether we'll be able to sell this flat & if we do sell, whether the price will be good. It's our main issue coz we've more or less secured the flat we're gonna buy.

I'm taking things 1 step at a time. I can't see beyond the "now" anyway. This is my exact same view on weight loss goals. LOL. I've finally hit 64 kg range despite my 3 recent buffets that I couldn't get out of. This proves that we can eat & still lose weight. It's all about balance. Life is all about balance. The day we can find & maintain the balance will be the day our worries are over. But like maintaining your weight after achieving your ideal weight, it's either too much kcals or too little. I'm beginning not to make sense even to myself. So I'm signing off for a good night's rest. It's a busy day at work tomorrow.

Job Interview Today

I went for a job interview at a private hospital in the central this morning. Let me run through the events leading to this.

The plan for yesterday was to go straight to BPP to walk around immediately after work. Depending on how much time I have, I can go get a haircut before I have to leave for the flat viewing appt at 8.30 pm. Alas, I left my wallet at home when I left for work & I didn't realise it until much later coz Jeff drove me to work.

I didn't even have enough coins to take bus back home & had to borrow $2 worth of coins from my colleague. By the time I got home, it was already coming to 7.30 pm. I only had time to grab my wallet. I reached my destination at 8.15 pm. After viewing the 1st flat, we offered 25k to close the deal. (Owner asked for 35k.) But as she hasn't found a new place to move to, she refused to close. 10th floor, original condition. Not bad coz it's well kept.

We then viewed the 2nd flat. Good location with designer deco but on the 2nd floor. Owner asking to close at 190k regardless of the valuation. So say if valuation is 180k, we just have to fork out 10k cash. If valuation is 160k, we pay him 30k cash.

My agent friend suggested we continue to view other flats (as & when they get listed) while waiting for the 1st flat we viewed yesterday. We went to Bukit Timah for dinner before heading back home. Super shagged. So I did no preparation at all.

Woke up at 6.30 am this morning coz my interview was at 9 am. I made a mess of the wardrobe, dumping tons of clothes on the floor trying to find suitable clothes. I finally settled for a white & pink long sleeve blouse (which I "outgrew" but could wear again due to my weight loss) & my fav brown skirt (that I wore on my 1st date with Jeff). I wore it back in the 55kg days so by right, at 65kg I couldn't wear it. But I cheat by putting on my corset & wearing it slightly higher. Voila! Then I dug around the store room for a pair of decent shoes.

I have to decide between court shoes & my flat pointed tip covered shoes. Not wanting to appear overly eager, I chose the later. LOL. Actually, I know that even if I don't get chosen for this job, I can just do agency assignments for more money. Anyway, the interview went well. Sister will discuss with the accountant on my salary & get back to me. If I'm agreeable, then I'll start work very soon, either mid Nov or beginning of Dec.

Jeff & I both have the feeling that the 1st flat is "The One". Some kind of a 6th sense I guess. I get it sometimes. I once nursed a patient at home on 1 of my home assignments. She passed away during my shift. Her children were all buying 4D from the date & time. I saw her IC & had this very strong feeling that it's the 1. It came out in 2nd prize. If I had bought system instead of ibet, I would have won a lot of money. But then, I was already lucky. All her children didn't get a single cent coz they bought the date & time by the hundreds. I tried to buy too but it was already sold out (by them). Out of the 7 digits of the IC, I was able to pick out the 4 winning numbers. Unfortunately, I didn't have the fortune to get anymore intuition for 4D. :P Remember the flat that we really liked but was sold 30 mins prior? Again, at the instant as my agent friend called the seller, I had a feeling that it had already been sold.

When I alighted at the LRT & walked into the estate, it gave me a sense of peace & I felt like I'm coming home. As for the job I interviewed for, it has my 2 fav discipline (O&G & theatre nursing) lumped into 1. Although nothing is fixed in stone yet, things are finally beginning to look a bit better & I feel like I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it all comes through well & that this isn't a false hope.

Pet's Horoscope

Came across this website from Serene's blog & decided to check it out. I can't believe how accurate it is.

Aries (Puggy)
- Possesses an enormous amount of energy (Absolutely!)
- Prefers to be alone rather than associate with other animals (Not exactly.)

- Very insistent on what is wanted and outwardly expresses same (True.)

- Often hits or cuts head and/or gets burrs or thistles in head area (I guess. LOL.)
- Often projects head forward and/or makes unnecessary motions with head (Yup!)
- Does not always obey and/or is difficult to discipline (Very much so!)
- Bleeds easily (No idea & I don't wish for it to happen.)
- Has reddish hue to skin tone or fur which is not necessarily characteristic of species or breed (Does he?)
- Enjoys fighting with other animals and is known to intigate confrontations (So so so very true!)
- Has bitten owner more than once (What else is new?)
- Is always very enthusiastic or excitable (Yes!)
- Loves to break away from the "home front" and often runs non-stop (Not really.)
- Is very alert (Nope.)
- Has a bad temper (How to tell?)
- Does not sleep much (I should think so.)
- Has an overall personality which is quite aggressive (Hyperactive yes. Aggressive? Undecided.)
- Tends to be very impatient (It's true.)
- Is extremely impulsive... frequently moving or jumping up abruptly (Haha.)
- Is loud and boisterous (Of course!)
- Enjoys running... or galloping, hopping, slithering, etc... forcefully and non-stop (Yuppers!)

The Aries pet will likely be more aggressive than an animal born under almost any other Sign. Pets governed by Aries possess an abundance of energy, but might burn out rather quickly, inclined to indulge in play for a much shorter time than an animal ruled by a different Zodiac Sign. These are souls who will never be reticent in pushing their weight around, thus letting any other pets know that they are first in line. Indeed, more often than not, the Aries pet will want to be the only one in line. Thus, an animal governed by Aries usually prefers to be the sole pet in the household and can become rather raucous if there is any form of competition. The Aries pet will probably be a somewhat selfish character. In short, he or she finds it difficult to share anything...be it toys, food or owner. It is important for anyone in charge of an Aries pet to be careful of fights and this will apply to all species, since an Aries rabbit can be equally aggressive as an Aries bulldog. Whatever these animals do to show they want attention or food...or that they are angry...will be expressed in a spontaneous, powerful and belligerent fashion. It will be vital for any owner to discourage such behavior. Animals governed by this Zodiac Sign love to fight and once they start, it is almost impossible to get them to stop.

Since the Sign of Aries rules the head, this pet will probably use that area of the body when displaying any form of aggression. For example, while a cat is usually known to "bat" with his or her paws, the feline governed by Aries may choose to "ram" the head into an owner or some other unsuspecting animal. By the same token, it will be necessary for any owner to regularly check the teeth, gums, eyes, nose, ears and general head area of the Aries pet for any unusual ailments. Animals ruled by Aries should be kept out of extreme heat since they are more susceptible to rashes and heat-induced problems, especially during the Summer months. It is probably best to avoid having more than one Aries pet at any given time...particularly if the pets are going to intermingle, such as animals of the same species. These creatures may get along wonderfully for the most part, each enjoying the abundant energy of the other, but these are extremely physical souls and it would not be out of character for them to pick fights with one another for no discernable reason. In addition, because these are very physical animals, they will be exceedingly active, relishing many different kinds of physical interaction other than simply scrapping. The Aries pet also posseses a rather overwhelming desire to mate. He or she will be the most likely to disappear in search of amorous adventures. Thus, it will be necessary to maintain a safe and secure yard or home. Any animal governed by this Sign requires an abundance of exercise. A large, open area where he or she can run, fly, gallop or hop freely and happily would be ideal. If the Aries pet must be restrained, then the enclosure should be spacious and allow for plenty of movement. In addition, the animal must be provided freedom outside the enclosure as often as possible.

Capricorn (Ton Ton)
- Is miserly and possessive with personal belongings and food (Erm... not exactly. Just greedy.)
- Often petty by nature (Jealous would be a better word.)
- Is extremely intelligent (I'll like to believe so.)
- Has a manipulative bent to personality (Not that I noticed.)
- Rarely becomes sick but, if so, quickly makes a complete recovery (That's true.)
- Is not particularly active (Hahaha! We all know it's true.)
- Is unusally quiet and reclusive (Sort of.)
- Possesses a character which is cold, unexpressive and generally inhibited (Not true.)
- Is never mischievous or daring (Can be mischievous but I agree that he's timid.)
- Has a difficult time bonding with either animals or humans (Animals for sure!)
- Does not like to play or socialize with other animals... and does not like to play at all, for the most part (No leh.)
- Is very bony in build (Got meh?)
- Moves somewhat slowly (At times.)
- Prone to suffer from tooth problems (I hope not!)
- Would rather be inside than outside (He does prefers indoors. But outside is good. As long as there's air conditioning!)
- Walks (and moves in general) with a certain amount of caution (Haha. Esp when there're other dogs around.)
- Usually appears depressed (I couldn't agree more.)
- Prone to suffer from skin ailments (Sometimes.)
- Possesses an angular (or square) face regardless of breed or species (Eh, does he? His face looks angular becoz of his beard.)

The Capricorn pet is anything but capricious. There is nothing whimsical about animals governed by this Sign. In short, they are steadfast and reliable. Although this may appear to be a "good deal," these very down-to-earth souls are prone to be rather dull creatures, more inclined to sit around and simply watch while other pets play. This is likely an extremely serious animal...one who also takes life very seriously but, most importantly, takes an owner very seriously. There will not be much in the way of fun and games with this pet and he or she is sure to follow the rules to the letter. Being exceedingly intelligent, the Capricorn animal will quickly learn what is expected of him or her and will execute same with supreme pleasure. Indeed, it is obedience and sense of duty here that probably makes this stoic pet somewhat boring. There is no doubt that he or she thrives on duty and doing what is right. Still, for the owner who prefers an animal that comes with no surprises and does not want to worry about what the creature is getting up to all the time, then the Capricorn pet is an ideal companion. Animals governed by this Sign will learn all the tricks an owner is willing to teach and there will be not one solitary flaw in their performances. They may move a little slowly and their motto might well be, "Better safe than sorry," but these are sure-footed souls and there will probably be no slips-ups on their behalf. The Capricorn pet will not be particularly warm or affectionate. This is a rather rigid animal, but he or she will bestow devotion and loyalty upon an owner. Obedience is also a given, as is impeccable behavior...just not an abundance of licks and/or nudges for affection.

Since the Sign of Capricorn rules the skeleton, knees and teeth, the food offered to this animal should be full of nutrients, vitamins and minerals...especially calcium and magnesium...in order to keep the bones and teeth strong. The Capricorn dog should never be given regular meat bones, since the gristle could get caught in the teeth...or even worse, in the throat. This canine should be offered chewing items that are unlikely to splinter or break into small pieces... chewables that will truly work at keeping the teeth and gums clean and healthy. Animals governed by Capricorn are rarely the most active of creatures, so a special effort needs to made to ensure they get plenty of exercise. This will keep the bones in particular in good condition. The Capricorn animal should never be fed salty foods or this could result in arthritis. Some animals ruled by this Zodiac Sign do require additional salt in their diet...such as rabbits from a salt lick, for example...so it should not be eliminated in such cases, regardless of the governing Sign. It is not uncommon for Capricorn pets to live to a ripe old age and they will probably live longer than animals born under any other Sign, regardless of species. Often, as the Capricorn pet grows older (usually after the age of five), he or she seems to become younger in outlook and attitude. These are animals who tend to start out slow and stodgy...often apparently depressed with no interest in anything...and then, over time, transform into creatures who are spry, upbeat and happy. Indeed, Capricorn is one Sign in which there is a dramatic change in temperament with advancing years. Even though the Capricorn pet might not be the most animated soul in the household (at least in his or her youth), an owner can rest assured that this will certainly be a steadfast, obedient and trustworthy companion...for a very long time.

Memories Of The Past

I took some time to clear my stuff just now. I'll always find myself throwing away a lot of things whenever I do serious tidying up. But my goal this time is to clear as much as I can so when we move, we don't have to bring so many things with us.

I came across so many things that brought back so many memories. Trinkets, letters, photos & many of my thoughts penned down. Once again, I'm reminded of how much I've been through in the past. Each time I felt that everything was hopeless. But look at how far I've come.

I used to be that young girl who only worried about boyfriends & exam results. Although I have many more worries now, I have also gained so much more. I used to dream of having dogs. Now I have 3 in the house. I used to wish for a great guy to come along. Now he's my husband.

I'm not sore about downgrading. Becoz I know instead of living a life constantly worrying about finances, we'll be living with a lighter load. It's all about the debts. Do you wanna live a debt free life or a grand life but full of debts? I just hope that this time, he'll finally learn his lesson.

How My Day Went

I'm finally back home! It's been a long day. We left the house at 1 pm coz we need to meet my agent friend at 2 pm. The 1st flat was located on the 10th floor, basic, valued at 165k, asking for 25k above. 2nd flat was on 3rd floor, indian, valued 160k, asking 18k. We went for a cuppa at BP Plaza's Starbucks coz the next viewing was at 4 pm.

3rd flat was really the best. The moment we stepped in, we both felt that it's the 1. 6th floor, valued 160k, asking 25k. 5.15 pm, we viewed the 4th & final flat. 4th floor, no reno at all, valuation not done, asking 30k. It's totally out of the question. Nothing done yet asking for more than those renovated ones.

We came back to my place to calculate the cash we'll be getting back after selling this YT flat & whether it's enough to cover. We calculated at 60k cash back. 7+ pm, we decided to close on the 3rd flat, willing to pay the exact 25k they asked for. But I guess it was never meant to be. The owner had closed the deal & signed the option 30 mins ago at 25k above valuation.

Our only last hope was to consider the 1st flat at 10th floor. What she said made sense. Get a flat in a good location & a good floor. These are the things money can't change. Even if the interior is not ideal, you can always do up when you have the spare cash.

We sent my friend back to her place at Bugis along with my parents. On the way there, she managed to secure a viewing for us on Friday. 10th floor, asking 35k. The asking price's getting higher & higher. How much longer before the property market crash? Do we have enough time to sell away this flat before it happens? If we commit & are unable to sell this flat, we'll be in deep shit & owing a lot, a lot of money. Please give me a way out. Please don't take away my last hope...

Power Sucking Machine & Money Saving Tips

Very fed up with the electronic weighing scale at home. It sucks up the battery like nobody's business. I just changed the battery less than a mth ago & now it's showing low batt & wouldn't start up. So I haven't got the chance to take my weight in days. But I like it becoz of the accuracy to the 1st decimal whereas on a traditional weighing scale, you can only round off to the nearest 0.5 kg. It ain't cheap you know. It costs $3.50 for 1 single battery.

Anyway, I bought multivitamins from my work place pharmacy recently. They were having a promotion & I went to have a look. For non-discounted items, I get 15% discount. But the 1 I bought was already heavily discounted so I bought it for $8+ nett (UP: $14+). I saved $12+ since I bought 2 bottles! I hate swallowing tablets... so... I bought... children's chewable vitamins... :X

Although the children's vitamin contains just the basic stuff (doesn't have zinc, folate etc), it's better than feeling terrible after swallowing the adult tablet right? I've tried on many attempts to take the adult vitamin. Usually, it'll be fine for the 1st week. Subsequently, I'll get severe nausea after taking the tablet no matter what drink I swallow with. It also doesn't matter which brand I take. Hey, maybe I should take it before I sleep. LOL. By the time I wake up, I wouldn't feel a thing.

Do you know that it's possible to be overweight yet under nourished & underweight yet well nourished? When we talk about nourished, we mean getting the adequate vitamins & minerals. So you can be underweight but taking multivits & be well nourished. Same thing, we can be eating a lot, a lot (like junk food) but never getting enough V&M. Hence, I decided to buy since I'm on a diet & sooner or later, the body will suffer from the lack of V&M.

Maybe becoz of the lack of good cashflow in the household, I've become more thrifty. Without realising it, I've been buying in bulk items on offer. Like 1 kg of frozen chicken fillet cost $4.40 (UP: $5.50) & I went to stock up. Again, I saw Air Wick Gel, buy 2 free 1 for $12+ (UP: 1 for $6+) & I bought 2. We're going to view some 3 room flats later although it's very unlikely we''ll buy since the cash above valuation people are asking for is minimum 25k. There's got to be another way out. It's just whether we're willing to take it or not. Anyway, I saw on yesterday's Straits Times that a Meyer 24 cm pan is selling for $9.90 (UP: $29.90), Tefal 28 cm wok pan for $29.90 (UP: $42.90) only at Courts Megamart & Toa Payoh. So we're heading to Tampines after the flat viewing.

You may say that we're spending on things that we don't absolutely need at this point in time. But if you wanna wait until you absolutely need it, you'll be paying much more. This is a skill I learnt from my FIL. He loves to stock up when things are on offer. If you look inside their store room, you'll see many many bags of laundry powder, many more packets of toilet rolls & many bottles of floor detergent. If you look in the compartment below their kitchen sink, you'll find many bottles of dish washing detergents, stain remover etc.

It's a great way to save coz say if I buy 10 sets of Air Wick. I would have saved $90+ coz the extra free gel is from the Memories series & each is $9+. Such things doesn't have expiry dates & can be kept for a long time. Even if the thing is only on $1 discount, buying 10 of it means you save $10. Then, you just wait until the next round of discount before stocking up again. Hehe. Unfortunately, this signifies my transition into an Obasan. :(

I'm So So So Tired

Apart from being tired, I feel so stressed. It's the money issue again. How do I raise 25k? It's almost enough to fully pay off our van. Even if I go work on weekends, there may not be any assignments for me. Although if I do work on both Sat & Sun, it'll help bring in extra $1k+ per month, provided I get assignments on both days for 4 weeks. Do I have to work myself to death? Heaven, how long more are you going to torture me? When can I finally break free?

I could be so comfortable. Our salary combined is more than enough to lead a "having excess" life provided that we don't spend too much. Why is it that I'm paying for my lunch in coins then? Why is it that I'm worrying so much my hair's all turned white? Why are you against me? Is it too much to ask for, wanting a solution out?

Getting There

Before I go into my main entry, I'll like to add in some of the dreams I had. In my dream, I was invited to a Dr's house warming. Surprisingly, he moved into a HDB flat although in real life, I know him to be quite rich coz he runs his own private clinic, comes as a visiting consultant at my work place & he confessed doing some business as well. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't locate his flat. I just couldn't find the unit. I kept walking & walking.

In my other dream, I dreamt that I had just alighted the plane in Bangkok. I went there with my mom. The weather was very cold & we both had to put on jackets. The moment we came out from the tunnel (I don't know what you call that but it connects the airport bay to the plane), we were in this huge shopping mall with extremely high ceiling. We were kinda lost. Again, we kept walking & walking, trying to find our way around.

These 2 dreams both revolve around the same theme. Although I know my destination, somehow I just couldn't get there. Both times I was lost & kept trying to find my way. Is my sub-conscious mind telling me that at this moment, I know exactly what I want in life but I can't find the means & way to get there? Thinking about it, I think it's really true. But so what if I know? I need to find a solution too.

Praises for Puggy! For the past 1 week since I came home after staying at my in law's for almost a mth, I've been noticing that Puggy is getting his toileting correct more & more. I really feel that he's almost there from 2 incidents, 1 yesterday night & 1 this morning.

Knowing that he has to use the pee tray for the entire night (coz nobody's gonna change the newspaper for him once we sleep), he aimed his pee at 1 half of the tray. Jeff saw that half the tray was wet but he didn't bother changing it for him. Later on in the night, Jeff went to the toilet. He heard sounds of feet plattering on the pee tray. What he saw was Puggy aiming his pee at the other half of the tray.

Before my dad leaves for work each morning, he'll clear Puggy's pee tray if it's wet & lay another newspaper beside the tray for just in case. When Jeff woke up this morning to go to work, he saw Puggy peeing in the tray. He didn't personally see the next part of it. But when he went into the kitchen next, he saw that Puggy had poop on the extra newspaper just beside the tray.

I'm so happy! Our hard work has finally paid off. Puggy's almost 7 mths old now & has been with us for almost 5 mths. The initial mths were full of frustration as many of you know. There were times when I really felt that Puggy is hopeless. He took more than twice as long as Ton Ton to be trained (Ton Ton took 2 mths to get it 100% right). But still, I'm proud of him. 3 cheers for Puggy!

Motivate Me Pls!

I finally hit the high 65 kg range. Once I can finally reach exactly 65 kg, I'll officially have 10 kg more to go to ditching the overweight category. I'm happy with my progress. I was re-reading some stuff the dr gave me & I came across this information.

* To lose 0.5 kg/week (that's 2 kg/mth), you need to have a deficit of 500 kcal/day. That's 3500 kcal/week.

* That'll mean, to lose 1 kg/week (4 kg/mth), you need to deficit 1000 kcal/day. That's 7000 kcal/week.

* According to the info, you need 32 kcal/kg/day for a sedentary lifestyle. This amount of kcal will maintain your weight. Any lesser, you'll lose. Any more, you'll gain.

The more you lose, the more difficult it is to lose the remaining weight. Coz the energy you require will depend on your weight. The heavier you are, the more energy you need. So at 72 kg, I need 2304 kcal. Say I limit myself to 1200 kcal/day (you're not supposed to go below that anyway), I deficit 1104 kcal/day which will give me weight loss of slightly more than 4 kg/mth. Now at 65.8 kg, I need 2105 kcal. I still limit myself to 1200 kcal but I deficit only 905 kcal/day. It'll give me less than 4 kg of weight loss/mth. By the time I hit 55 kg, I need 1760 kcal, deficit 560 kcal. Weight loss is slightly more than 2 kg/mth. How ah?

Mid Autumn Festival

Jeff kept telling me that he had a surprise for me on the 29th Sept & to keep myself free on that day. I only found out that he was bringing me to the Lantern Exhibit at Chinese Garden on the day itself. I've been wanting to go for years but never saw it through.

Photo taking was difficult coz the lanterns refused to show clearly unless taken in night mode. The problem with night mode is that we don't have a tripod & most of the time, our hands were not steady enough, leading to blurred pictures. Here are some of the pictures that did come out viewable.

Jeff with 2 frogs.

Have balance (fish) year after year.

Whale & penguins.

Me with a triumphant grin when I finally managed to get the lantern set up. The darn candle had refused to stick.

Jeff with the seals.

Octopus lamps works into their underwater world theme for this year.

Modern & ancient all in 1 screen.

Me & Mr Stone Guard. I was trying to be funny by handing him the lantern.

Ultra big mooncake with the saying, "Thousand miles to meet up, but wish that the persons involved stay in love forever."

" It ain't easy to balance like this ok? Hurry up & snap already!" That was my exact words to Jeff to chase away people who kept blocking us. Hehe. It worked!

Some of the many "lanterns" on exhibit.

This pair of pelicans were in the middle of the 'lake'. I went as far out as I could without stepping onto the water. I took this with my camera zoomed in to the max & arms stretched out all the way. It took a few tries to get it this sharp.

This picture isn't for show. We really did climb all the way up to the top of the pagoda. We're so out of shape! By the time we reached the top, we were panting & heart beating like mad. When we finally made our way down, we both were giddy, nauseous & our legs felt like jelly.

1 last photo at the entrance/exit before we leave.

200th Post

Wow, it's my 200th post already! Super special coz I meant to post pictures of our KL/Genting trip. Here it goes!

Come, come, give me some money please! (CCK central coffee shop just before we start on our journey)
2nd try.

At 1 of the pit stop.

On the drive up to Genting.

See the clouds in the sky!

My fav picture of the entire lot. Don't they look soooooo cool?

Looking good!

Our usual photo taking trick.

Superman & Lois wannabes.

Presenting you with a twist!

Then giving you a 6.

Got Kenny Rogers's muffin on the way out.

Jeff acting cute in Genting.

Jeff acting cute again.

Getting ready to tuck in!

Enrica & me covering 1 eye with a spoon.

Jeff acting cute.

Jeff with his drink.

Fried seafood roll.

Thick toast with chocolate ice cream.

Coconut with hei-bi-hiam snack.

Living room area.

Kitchen area which we didn't use.

The "study" desk.

This was the last we saw of the mug. :X

Toilet bowl. Don't ask me. Jeff took this picture.

Aftermath of the bathroom.

Our Rootbeer Float & Rootbeer plain.

Our last day in KL. We had A&W for lunch.

A Terrible Nightmare

Research says that we dream every single day when we fall into the REM stage of sleep. But we don't remember it becoz we go from 1 stage of sleep to another. Once gone from the REM stage, we won't be able to remember the dream we had. Yet, we enter into the REM stage many times a night as we sleep. We've had so many, so many dreams but can remember few.

Been remembering my dreams a lot lately. I guess it's becoz I tend to wake up near daybreak & when I fall back asleep, I'll start dreaming. I'll still be dreaming when the alarm goes off & hence I can remember my dreams. What I had this morning was more of a nightmare though.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

I've been at my in law's for a few weeks now. I only return home once a week over the weekends to bathe the dogs. Why? I'm running. I can no longer stand living at home. Being constantly pestered for money. I went back home only to find a shaved down, botak Ton Ton. I started yelling & screaming at my parents. I demanded to know why they shaved him. They said that becoz I've been away for so long, his fur has become badly matted & his fur was all brown in colour from being dirty. I continued crying & ranting away. I insisted that I would have been able to dematt him & give him a good bath.

I felt so hysterical in my dream. There was nothing I could do to reverse it. I can still remember how he looks in botak cut. It isn't too hard to imagine coz he looks just as though he's wet through but without the fur. Wait till itchy Serene reads this!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

I've been feeling very guilty for leaving my dogs at home. Why only Ton Ton in my dream? I guess it's becoz he's the only 1 whose coat needs daily care & I'm not around to provide it. I feel terrible everytime I go home. They'll be so happy & excited. Until I leave the house. They'll follow me with their eyes & jump onto the sofa that's against the living room window. They stick their head & paws through the window grills, as if asking for 1 more pat, for 1 more hug, for 1 more kiss. They're like begging me not to leave them. Oh, I love them so much! It wouldn't be long. We're moving back this weekend. I can't wait to see them tomorrow evening.

Some Thoughts

Despite our best efforts, life is never without downs. When will we hit our limit? When will we break down? Yet why do we push on, refusing to give up? Why do we not want it to end? We hold on to the hope that eventually, things will work themselves out & we'll find release. Why do we have to struggle all our lives? Who sees into our hearts & every good that we do? If our heart is true, why then, is the solution not in sight?

I forge ahead becoz I desire to see the world with Jeff. I forge ahead becoz I desire a better future. I do not know what will happen next. I do know know when life will throw the next pile of shit at me. I still remember a verse I read long time ago. It ends with something like "Let me accept things that I cannot change." Perhaps it is through acceptance of the fact that certain things are just out of our control that we start to round about it & move on with our journey.

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I linked my arm through his. I know we're both attached, though not to each other. Why? I never thought I'll be 1 to do such things. He released my arm when she appeared in front of us. It's time to face the music.

Dieting & The Sorts

It's been 3 weeks since I stopped. I don't want to have to spend over $300 to get it. I'll spend it on the dogs & stock up on their supplements since I'm gonna be out of job in mid Nov. I've been pushing ahead on sheer determination & some (:P) discipline. Breakfast is usually 1 slice of bread with 1 slice of cheese. Lunch had been Mr Bean's soya milk without sugar with pancake. Dinner had been whatever I could get my hands on at home. Rule is 1200 cal a day.

Sometimes I do indulge myself. Especially with the mooncake festival just over. Do you know that a normal mooncake without yolk contains 800 cal? Shocking right? So a quarter will give you 200 cal. So what do I do? I spilt the mooncake for breakfast & lunch. Or sometimes I go out & have a better meal. Then I'll compensate by eating less the next day.

It's hard to really gauge how much weight I've lost. Coz I keep getting constipated. So when I haven't gone for 2 days, I'll take senna. According to Jeff, senna is made from plants/herbs so it's safe for consumption. Well, it sure beats taking lactulose which is indigestible sugar. It's a disgusting sweet syrup which is thick & sticky.

I'm closing on my 66 kg target which I believe I'll acheive once I manage to go. I still can't believe that 7 weeks ago, I was 6 kg heavier. This brings the minimum weight I've got to lose down to 14 kg. For my height, I have to be at least 44 kg (BMI 18.5) without being underweight & maximum 55 kg (BMI 22.9) without being overweight. So I have 11 more kgs to go before I fit into the normal weight range. I'll take it from there when I hit 52 kg. That is, if I can ever make it. My ultimate desire? The 48 kg me when I was in Sec 2.

Sweatz

Week after week it's the same thing. I can't sleep at night but have to wake up early to work. When it's finally the weekends, I'll automatically wake up between 7 to 8 am. The constant lack of sleep is taking a toll on me.

Sunday, 7th Oct. Continuation of this post that I started typing on Sat night. I didn't think much of myself not receiving any smses coz I don't get that many anyway. Besides, my weekdays are pretty packed with work, novel reading & playing my FF3 on DS. :P On weekends, it's dogs' bathing & van washing day.

I went back home yesterday after sending Jeff to work at 12 pm. By the time I got home it was almost 1 pm & I put parking coupons till 2.15 pm. (Season parking is for Bukit Panjang at the moment.) To save on the coupons, I suggested to my mom to go West Coast Park with Ton Ton & Puggy. I left WCP at 5 pm & reached home at 6 pm. Parked the van at the washing bay. I helped my mom send the dogs upstairs then came back down to wash the van. Just as I got there, it started raining & I had to wash it in semi-darkness.

I marvelled at my luck coz it was already very dark cloudy as I left WCP. On top of that, it stopped raining when I was done at 7 pm. Coz knowing that I have to drive out at 8+ pm means getting it dirty again. I kept reminding myself that I need to put parking coupons for at least till 8 pm. I admired how clean & smooth the exterior feels when I ran my hand across it. Hey, I deserved to be proud of myself. I had to park at 3A coz that's where the white lots start.

I was tired, sweaty & sticky. I went back home. Then at 8.30 pm, Jeff called my house from his work place asking me why the hell haven't I replied to any of his smses & that he had been released from work since 8 pm. The moment I reached downstairs, I suddenly realised that I forgot to put the coupons! I ran up the carpark stairs at top speed, hoping that I wouldn't get a ticket. Jeff already got a $50 fine for illegal parking when he went to view the tree with the monkey or elephant face on its trunk earlier this week.

Heng ah! Don't have. I drove downstairs & as I was driving out of the carpark, I saw the man in white walking towards me, into the carpark. Super heng lor! I sped down with an average speed of 90 km/hr. Not very fast lah, but if you know me, I only drive that fast on expressway, not on normal roads.

When I finally reached NUH in 15 mins, the smses started coming in. I received 8 in 1 shot, all either yesterday's or Friday's. When we finally got back to his house, I received another 3 smses from Thursday. WTH?