How Time Flies

Just last Sunday, I went to East Coast Park with the guys. I remember feeling the usual Monday blues. Somehow, I survived another 5 days & it was the weekends again. It's Sunday again & I have to go back to work tomorrow. Somehow I feel like I'm just passing time with no goals. I'm only looking forward to each weekend.

I'm earning almost twice as much as Jeff but it also causes our expenses to go up. I'm not confident at all that we'll be able to gain financial stability. We've talked vaguely about getting our own place but I know financially, we're not ready. He wanted to get a pug which is like his long time dream. I don't think daily expenses will increase by a lot. But it's the lump sum that we have to pay for a new puppy that I'm worried about. Sure, I have enough money. But we're looking at about 2k, not $2. Besides, the thought of retraining a new puppy daunts me.

I don't know how we're going to cope when I stop working here. I can earn much more as an agency nurse. But his mom has been exerting quite a bit of pressure for me to stop agency work & get a permanent job with CPF. She'll bring it up everytime we meet. I'm running out of excuses.

I'll only be able to work till end of Nov in my current assignment as their staff will be back from advance diploma then. What I'm thinking is, I'll try to save as much as I can during these few months. Then I'll look for a permanent job. This way, it'll help me build up my savings as I can easily save 2k & above per month. I tried explaining this to my MIL but she doesn't seem to understand or rather, she's so fixated on the idea of CPF that she's not absorbing what I'm trying to tell her.

Yes, I understand that CPF is important when we need to get our flat & that it's also for retirement. But what's the use when we don't even have the ability to pay for renovation & furnishings? That way, we'll have our flat, yes. But we won't be able to move in. Then what's the point in it all?

I feel so cheated. In the beginning, my parents in law were the ones who suggested that we stay at my parents' place & slowly get our own flat at a later time when we have the money. Then, when the option of getting a van came along, they agreed to it & even said, if you buy the van, then don't need to get a flat. Now that we got the van, they forgot everything they said & wanted us to get our own place. I don't own a bank. I need to slowly build up our finances too. Sigh... All I want is a simple life. I don't need to be very rich. I just want to have enough. My idea of joy is being able to be with my little family of Jeff, Ton Ton & possibly a sister for Ton Ton. Maybe sometime in the near future, our own children. So why is it so hard to achieve?