The Event

Everyone would have gotten the picture more or less by now. It no longer matters to me who you side with. So I'm not going to narrate my side of the story again. I just want to leave this whole thing behind. So I'll just say what happened after the event.

The few of us headed to Vivocity from Sentosa & sent all the doggies for basic grooming, except for DT who just had a bath to wash away the dirt & sand. The plan was to send Ton Ton to the vet there after grooming but the vet wasn't open for business yet & my regular vet happened to be closed due to personal reason. We bought an antiseptic cum analgesic balm instead for use in the mean time.

Brought Ton Ton back home. On the way, Jeff & I agreed not to say anything to my parents & I know they wouldn't realise it otherwise anyway. Everytime he went into a sitting position, he did it gingerly. When he laid down, he did it on his side in a lateral position & partly lifted his leg so as not to crush the injured site. That night before I went to bed, I attempted to clean his wound again. He actually flinched when I dabbed the antiseptic solution soaked cotton wool onto the wound. It was already sloughy & giving out yellowish discharge.

We brought him to our vet the next day. Jeff lied to my parents that he was bringing Ton Ton for a routine check up. Upon examining the wound, she informed us that it was unlikely the skin would adhere back to the wound. The only way was to stitch up under GA. She also said that had I brought Ton Ton in later, infection would have set in & might become full blown & spread to the testicles. In that event, she would have to perform an emergency neutering to save his life. She then asked us if we had plans to neuter him in the future so she could do it together, instead of putting him under GA a 2nd time as GA itself carries certain amount of risks.

It was the most difficult decision we had to make. All along, neutering Ton Ton was a distant plan. In fact, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go ahead. I know for sure that Jeff didn't want Ton Ton to be neutered. Ever. The most prevalent reason being, Ton Ton is a submissive & shy dog. I was afraid that with the absence of testosterone, he will withdraw more into himself & go to the extreme end of submissive behaviour. Our vet's concern was more that Ton Ton may become sluggish & lazier without the testosterone, leading to weight gain. I told her straight away that he's already very lazy, sleeping day & night. But I had to think of the future as well. Do I risk him 1 more time should we decide to neuter him sometime down the road?

A lot of things went through my mind as I agreed to neutering Ton Ton. I kept telling myself, "No, you cannot cry. It's not as if Ton Ton's life is in danger. It's something that most dogs will have to go through." You may think I'm being very childish for crying over such a small thing. But my feeling is liken to a parent who made a decision to send her child for an operation. I can't even begin to put in words the worries & heartache I was going through.

Our vet told us that becoz Ton Ton had something to drink in the morning, he would go for the operation last & we had to collect him at 9.30 pm. We then headed to Shop N Save around the corner. I wanted to buy some good food to cook for him when he's off Nil By Mouth (NBM) the next morning. I kept asking myself if I had made the right decision & that if I changed my mind, I still had the chance to go back in & tell them to just stitch up the wound. I felt that I had let Ton Ton down. He entrusted his life to me & here I was, making a big decision in which he has no say. Nothing Jeff said could console me.

We got home way before 3 pm. (The clinic closes from 3 pm to 7 pm & that's the time they perform surgeries.) Again, we lied to my parents that he's of the right age to do neutering & hence we went ahead. I even stressed to her that if neutering isn't done, he'll definitely get cancer later on in life. I didn't feel like doing anything. I was calculating the time the surgery would start. If a neuter takes about 30 mins from start to end, then his surgery would start around 6 pm, adding in the time needed for the administration of GA. I kept looking at the time. I just felt so lost. I finally fell into a fitful sleep close to 6 pm, constantly worrying that my HP would ring. Becoz it would only bring bad news. I kept thinking about what could go wrong. He's allergic to the GA & develops anaphylactic shock. It was my hyperactive mind at work coz I've seen personally (coz I used to work in the operating theatre) whereby the patient was allergic to the GA drugs & died from anaphylactic shock. There's no way to prevent it coz you never know what drugs you're allergic to until you've tried it.

It was a relief when the time finally came to pick Ton Ton up from the vet's. It was storming. We rented a car coz I know for sure that no taxis would be willing to drive us. Our friends were already there with get well soon presents. Thank you very much, everyone.

Ton Ton was awake but drowsy. We put him in his present & wheeled him out. For the 1st time for as long as I've had him, he howled & howled. He even did his signature whine. He didn't respond to my calls though, ignoring me throughout the journey back home. He wanted to come down shortly after reaching home & I put him on the floor on all 4s. It was then he reverted to his old self, walking wobbly, swaying left & right in between my parents & me. He even found the strength to bark at Jeff when he came home from returning the car. He continued his drunken walk until we put him into our bed to sleep.

Now, coming to 5 days after the surgery, he's the boy he used to be. He finally gotten over his phobia of the e-collar after being on it continuously for so many days. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't find a chance to get rid of it by shaking his head vigourously & rubbing it against the wall. He succeeded once though & proceeded to lick his wound immediately. Needless to say, the e-collar went back on the next second.

It's unfortunate that this has to happen. But what's over is over. Besides, Ton Ton is well & healthy again. That's the most important thing to me. However, I've lost respect for someone whom I used to hold in esteem. It just reinforces to me that people (at least 99% of them) can't be trusted. This isn't about forgiveness. Even if I forgive which I know I will after some time, the trust I've placed is lost forever.