The Very Sick Me

Before I go on to how I became sick, I’ll like to write about an incident that happened to me on Friday. I was on call on Thursday. I counted the CDs (controlled drugs) that evening. Some theatres have glucometer which checks the blood sugar level. So 1 of the theatres that I counted has it. I must have forgotten to keep it back into the CD cupboard which is under lock & key.

Next morning when I counted with the morning staff, N, the glucometer was missing! I panicked of course. Not only a report has to be written, I have to pay $100+ for it since I was responsible. I told my in charge, C, who helped me look for it. We have exhausted our options but it was nowhere to be found.

My in charge did find it in the end & I was with her when she found it. Later on as we were going home, she told me that the reason she found it was becoz N took a glance at the cupboard by the door of the room we were in as she was leaving the room. She found it strange coz there was no reason to take a look at that ordinary cupboard. So she searched in that cupboard & it was there.

Her theory was that N wanted to claim credit of finding the expensive glucometer & kept it before I went in to count CD. She didn’t suspect the attendants coz 1 of them was sick & slept early. Another was busy cleaning the theatre on the other side of the theatre. The 3rd 1 though greedy & would have taken it was quite lazy & he wouldn’t have gone round to all 14 theatres to try his luck. The 4th 1 is very honest & has returned a Rolex watch belonging to a Dr. We checked with the afternoon nurse who cleared that theatre & she said she saw it before going home at 9 pm but she forgot to tell us. Between 9 pm & 8 am, that theatre was not in use. So it must have gone missing in the morning.

I felt that I was right in my theory not to trust people at work except for a few. But I fully saw how bad hearted people can be from that incident. I know it will never end. I’ll meet even worse people & still be surprised by the things they do. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even suitable for the working environment. Not to say that I’m the best person in the world but I’m not this kind of a person and am defenseless against them. People will target me becoz I’m an easy target. I’m mild & meek & I don’t dare to speak up. Will I ever survive in this world? What have humans become?

* * * * *

Sat morning I woke up with a sore throat. I knew URTI was going to set in so I took 1 gm of Vitamin C on Sat & Sun morning. By Sun evening, my sore throat had worsened & I was getting body aches. I was supposed to be on call on Monday & I knew I wasn’t in a state to work. So I called up my work place & asked the in charge who was off so I can change the call with that person. Unfortunately, nobody was off. She consulted Sister & got the afternoon staff on Monday to do my call for me. His call is on Wed but he had an appointment on Thurs, his off call. So he said I need not do his call. I feel so bad coz I know how tired it can be to have another call so soon. There may be bad people around but there’re also kindhearted people around & I wonder how I’m ever going to repay their kindness.

So I saw a GP on Monday & he gave me 2 days MC without me even asking for it which is weird coz they usually give only 1 day so I have to work on Tues. Maybe it was becoz I was having a fever of 38 degrees. Today, my body aches have gone away. But my sore throat seems to be getting worse. It’s almost unbearable to swallow, cough or talk. If my throat don’t get any better I’ll see the GP again this evening.

What I’m afraid of is Sister confronting me about my MC. Oh gosh… It makes me not want to go back to work. I can’t help it that I got sick right? This place sucks. I’ll probably quit early & work as a private nurse for the time being.