I Had A Dream...
I was assisting this Dr & for some reasons, he seemed to hate me to the core. Throwing F**k around in every sentence that was directed at me. I was majorly pissed off & I told him, "Either you stop with the vulgar language, or I'm going to leave you to do this yourself. You can complain to sister for all I care."
My bravado didn't go unpunished. He did stop with the 'F**k's but he resorted to scolding me for every single little thing. That's when my alarm went off & I was 'saved' from my, well, nightmarish nightmare.
A liberation only to meet with more resentment & resistance? You know you have no way out & somehow it creates this mentality in you that you have to bear with all the sh*t being thrown at you. The moment you know this is all going to end soon, resentment started coming up like water boiling over the pot. I never consider myself evil. Well, who will anyway? But nowadays I feel that I can no longer rein in (in my mind) the many words I'll like to use on them. Inside, I'm cursing them with 'you stupid bastard', 'you a**hole' & similar sort which is something I've always been able to push away.
I'm running. I'm definitely running if I'm quitting. But will I run to some place with even worse people? There's always this uncertainty in starting work in a new environment. But then, life never grants you any guarantees.
posted by Rookie Jo at 6:31 AM
1 Comments:
From your symptoms, I think you are suffering from depression. I'm not saying you are a crackpot, but you sure do exlude the symptoms of mild depression and stress. Look for things that makes you happy and do them together with pple who makes u happy. If conditions doesn't improve, please consult a counsellor. U should know this better than me, depression is a condition that can be treated. Just dun let it get the best of you. Besides, it's only less than a month now. Just bear with it and keep the constant faith that U are being watched after. Smile and clear your nitemares. Happy Holidays. :)
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