Then What?

It's been a while & I honestly wish I could say great things had been happening to me. But life is never that simple isn't it? I reread 'My Fav. Rock' & some thoughts came to my mind. If I have no talents, then what is the only thing that I can improve on? At this moment, I have no answer.

I don’t know what to do with my life. At the same time, I don’t want to look back many years later & regret not having done anything to enrich my life. We’ve always done things that we’re not passionate about. Becoz in this world, practicality is the key to survival. I don’t know. Maybe a significant portion of people are doing what they love for a living. But I also know a lot of us aren’t. Why? Becoz unless you’re very good at what you love, you probably won’t earn enough. How much is enough? Enough to me means not having to worry about how to make ends meet.

Really, I’m no longer a teenager. & these are the things that a teenager should already contemplate. What do we want out of our life?

Do you stick to a job you hate becoz the pay is good? Then what? 1 day you’re gonna die & leave everything earthly behind. Money, loved ones, material possessions. The question again is, then what? You do a job you love but the pay sucks. Every month you worry about bills & stuff. 1 day you die & maybe it’s a good thing becoz you have no more worries. Again, then what?

I will like to believe that when we die, we go to some place safe & free of worries, where everyone is never in need. A place full of happiness. Heaven. But I’ve not seen anything that suggests that heaven exists. You say, have faith. & faith means believing without seeing. & I’ll like to ask you. How to have faith in this rotting world? In the past I’ll like to think that I’m generally a good person. Not committing murder or drug trafficking or whatever it is that criminals do.

But no. I’m not a good person. Becoz now I believe being good means not bringing hurt or harm to another. That is the basis of all things. All the offences that are labeled ‘bad’ in our world are all becoz they bring hurt & harm to others. Now, can all of us honestly say that we’ve never hurt another person in our life? Be it physically, mentally or emotionally? Intentionally or not. I can safely tell you that no one is good. Oh yes, we try to be. But we will never succeed. In our own ways, we always hurt the people around us. This fact will never change. That is why I don’t have faith.