Bad Time At Work (Again)

This really sucks. I feel like all my strength has been sucked away from me. I feel like shit & I'm appalled by myself that I allow it to happen to me. All these while I've been biding my time, as if waiting for things to happen becoz they definitely will. & of course I'm dead right on this.

A student came in complaining of nausea & requested to sleep for a while. She's probably faking coz we get such things all the time. (Our top 3 complains are headache, dizziness & nausea.) Knowing she's faking it, I told her I would only give her 30 mins.

Our paper work is such that, when a student comes in, he/she has to fill in her name & grade on a form & we, the nurses will fill in the complaint, time in & time left. So I wrote it as 2.10 pm on the form since she came in at 1.35 pm. Subsequently, we'll have to enter all these details into the computer, into a special program. Before the student leaves the clinic to go back to class, we'll have to issue a note saying this student rested in the clinic from what time, to what time. This note goes to the grade secretary & then to the teacher. & we usually write the note with the time in & time left on the spot so we don't have to write it as we're rushing to discharge the student.

I seriously can't remember what happened on that day. But a teacher came, asking us to verify the note. Becoz, the 2.10 pm has been changed to 2.50 pm, with a slash on top & an inverted c below the 1, if you get what I mean. So now, for the life of me, I can't remember if I changed the time becoz it wasn't reflected in the form. Worse, I didn't key this student into the computer.

But what I do remember is, that was a very busy day & a few students overslept coz I simply didn't have the time to go through the form to see who needs to go off. I don't have to go upstairs into the bedroom to wake them up, our assistant can do that. But for her to do that, I have to ask her to do it. But I was swamped with students from 2 pm onwards. (School ends at 2.55 pm.)

Where was my dear supervisor? In her room doing God knows what. She probably has her own paper work to do. I don't know. & everyday, at the end of the day, she'll tell my colleagues that it's been a very busy day. I know sometimes she has to deal with emails & some bills to endorse. But no matter what, she can't be as busy as me right? She never attends to the children who comes in. Sometimes, she makes me endorse the bills for her even.

Perhaps this is fate. Perhaps I'm not supposed to stay in this job. Becoz I truly truly believe that when I'm not supposed to take a certain path, all the signs will point it out to me. I have countless accounts. Once I overslept & was going to be late for work (I was still working at OT). At that time, I had this strong sense of dread. But I ignored it & asked my dad to give me a lift. We met with an accident on the way there. In the end, I had to go to A&E, have x-rays, tetanus & painkiller jab along with a MC. But there were times I heeded the signs & adverted disasters.

The last time I was supposed to sign my confirmation, the thing with the student happened in May. She got very angry with me & extended my probation for 3 more months. This probation should have been signed in August but she delayed it till now. She was just telling me last week that she's going to sign the confirmation with me & now this happened. I really don't know. Perhaps I'm digging my own grave here...