Never Satisfied

It's 3.45 pm on a rainy Saturday & here I am at work. 3 hrs 45 mins more to end of my shift. How ironic when the numbers play themselves out like that. I'm so, so, so bored. I can't sleep coz it's not night shift. Nothing interesting on SPC coz everyone's out. So I watch my Roswell DVD... & fell asleep watching.

I'm starting to get better which means to say the deja vu is leaving me. It's just amazing how everytime I'm really sick with the flu, it has to be rainy or dark cloudy. But that is also the reason why I get the deja vu. 2 conditions to fulfill, that is to be sick with the flu which makes my brain all fuzzy & wet weather.

Anyway, back to the topic. I'm sure people envy what I'm doing right now. A job that's not physically demanding, I get to go home right on time unlike Jeff who can stay back a couple of hours after passing report, sleep on my night shifts, do nothing but surf the net, read my books, watch TV even when there's nothing going on & best of all, I get paid well. So why am I not happy?

I remember once again how it was like in the hospital. Scoldings from surgeons, dealing with impossible relatives & patients, overworked, on my feet all the time that by the end of the day, the pain was almost unbearable & patches of my soles became hardened. I was bringing home much less than I am now. I was miserable, I dragged myself to work everyday.

Why can't I just be happy with what I have? I'm really fortunate. Really. It touched me so reading today's special article on the Straits Times on ex-prisoners, what kind of difficulties they faced while looking for jobs. How a lot of them fall back to old ways & how some of them managed to successfully re-integrate into the society. I must find contentment.